People usually say they appreciate direct and honest feedback. But I do know plenty of people, who rather hear only good feedback and praise than “constructive” feedback about themselves or their actions. Of course it is a lot more nicer to hear positive things about oneself but if you only get positive feedback you’re missing a lot of chances to get better in what you do or in what you are. Nobody’s perfect, you can always get better.
There are several ways to give constructive feedback. If feedback is given in a wrong way, the person receiving it might take it only as a negative thing which then prevents getting the message through and the opportunity for learning something is lost due to the counter reaction. There is never need to hurt someone’s feelings by focusing purposely only on negative things to bash someone or someone’s actions. If someone actually did something that made you feel bad, it is naturally all right to tell how you felt about it. Nobody can deny your feelings. Remember then to also tell how you would have wanted the person to act or how you wished the other person to act differently the next time. It is also always good to prepare for the person receiving your constructive feedback not appreciating it. If you give feedback in a good way and the person receiving it doesn’t get the message through it might better then just to be happy about yourself making the best effort of giving another person an opportunity to improve.
Receiving criticism is never easy for anyone. Negative feelings might surface and one might even feel angry, afraid or even sad. Listen any feedback you get carefully and ask clarifying questions if needed so that you really understand what the person giving feedback is after. Try to focus on those things you can focus on in the future to make yourself a better person and to improve in what you do. Always thank the person giving feedback even though you would have gotten it in an unconstructive way. Naturally not all feedback is such that you could learn something. In those cases you should try to forget it and not think about it too much.